The power of believing in YOURSELF

I've been pondering on this alot recently, on how much believing in yourself impacts your sucesses in life especially recovery. It can be a night and day difference. For me, it was and still is.  Looking back to the beginning of my journey to sobriety, i didnt think i could do it. I had no confidence or belief that i could stay sober for long periods of time. I felt that my family and no one around my believed i could either. So what happened? I continued to relapse over and over again over stupid little things that "normal" people deal with on a daily basis. If i had a trigger to use, I'd use. If someone said the wrong thing to me , whether hurtful or just plain rude, I'd use. Writing it now sounds ridiculous that I'd let everyday life situations get to me that bad that I'd use drugs everytime. But i didn't believe i could stay sober through the hard times so i never did. Now whether or not people believe I'm going to stay sober forever or not i don't care. Why? Because i believe in myself. Even when no one else does i know at the end of each day i can look in the mirror and be proud of where i am today compared to where i used to be. I can look at myself and say another day sober. Im pushing about 7 months of sobriety and i couldnt be more grateful and blessed. I love where my life and future is heading. Everyday is another exciting day of my new blessed and happy sober life. I abosolutly love it! So i encourage you to believe in yourself always. Don't think of the can'ts in life, think of the I CANS. Its amazing all the things you can accomplish when you have confidence, self esteem, and the belief in place.

Love you all and i believe in you. 

God Bless- Susie

Life never stops moving

Its been a while fellow readers. Sorry once again, just like the title of this blog life never stops. It really never does as much as you want it too. My life has truely been so busy and hectic lately. Both filled with positive and negatives. So let me catch you up on things. We found out recently we are having a baby girl, ive gotten the nursery almost done :) I've been working overtime every week while trying to find time to spend time with both families, my Fiance and his son, My sister, her kids, my daughter she adopted and over all just a break for life. My grandma passed away recently and its been hard to take in. For me, it was unexpected. I miss her so much and wish she could be here to meet her great grand daughter. But she's in a better place with her husband, my grandpa, whom shes been waiting a very long time to see again. With everything i've been dealing with lately I have been slacking on my recovery quite a bit. We've been going to meetings, yes. But i haven't been writing down my feelings and thoughts on different subjects which truely help me more than i probably know. One that really has been bothering me lately is the fact that we all can recover if we put our hearts into it and truely  believe in ourselves but all around me i see people who have such great potential just dont use it. I see  people i know from my past relapsing left and right. Im saddened when i see this vicious cycle happening everywhere. I truely see their souls being taken away from them slowly. It definitly changes my perspective on how i see things. Makes me realize what all my loved ones went through when i was deep in my addiction. The hopelessness feeling of wanting to help someone regain their soul and spirtual being they are lossing due to the devil of drug use. But knowing there is absolutly nothing you can do for this person because only they can have the want and drive to do it themselves. You can give them all the tools and resources to get and stay sober. But at the end of the day its up to them. Is the want and desire to change their way of living there? If so, how bad? Are you willing to go to any lengths to do it? I know for myself it took losing everything i have ever loved to get sober. I do have lots of regrets, wishing i could have stopped sooner. But i can't live in the past only in the present. That being said I'm very grateful for my sobriety, it has given me a fresh start. I have an amazing job that i truely love, a fiance whom is in recovery as well (hes my rock), a little girl on the way(due December 22nd) :), a great relationship with both my familys, and of course my heavenly father. I hope all of my readers in recovery or thoses still in the battle don't give up hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep going. Everything does and will always get better as long as your sober.
Until next time God Bless- Susie