Hidden Blessings 2

 After being released from hospital I tried going back to work but my health was so bad i couldnt do it. So the ER doctor filled out an extension for my disability for a month. Then it just continued to go down hill more from there. I went into preterm labor and was transferred to Mckay-Dee hospital. They gave me medication to stop the contractions and started me on magnesium and steriod shots for the baby. The contractions stopped and i was sent home the following days. That friday night my water broke! Mind you Im only 29 weeks pregnant. So terrified I call my husband and he meets me at the hospital. The next night my daughter was born. She was 2 pounds 7 ounces and crying. The overwhelming feeling of relief hearing her cry for the first time. She’s absolutely perfect!! She will have to be in the NICU for a few months but everyday she’s getting stronger and moving mountains! All this was extremely stressful and scary but I’m so grateful and blessed for recovery. Everyday is a blessing, i’ve learned to count each and every one of them. When were lost in our addictions even though they are all around us we don’t seem them. We either refuse to because we’d rather sit and wallow in our hell we created or we are so caught up we dont see them. Now that im sober and i sit here looking in a incubator where my beautiful baby is I thank god for everything. Remember in your recovery to count your blessings and thank god for another day in this beautiful life ❤️

Hidden Blessings

 So to pick up where i left off, after leaving rehab i went to live with my parents and was about to go back to work when bam life hit. I was at the store with my mother and she took one look at me and said im taking you to ER. She said i was extremely yellow and looked so sick. I didnt feel sick at all but i listened to my mom and went to be seen. Next thing I know the doctors are telling me the lab work came back that my liver is close to shutting down and they are shipping me to Murray hospital. At this point I’m terrified. Whats wrong with me and how is this going to affect my baby?? So i get to Murray and they start tons of testing. Taking more and more blood and checking on the baby. The next day the doctors tell me I have Hep C.. That feeling that your  heart drops out of your body, i felt as if not only my heart did that but it hopped away. First thing i thought was im going to die so young. I have a baby on the way and more little ones at home that need their mother now and when they grow up always. My life is over. But then the doctors reassured me that after i have my daughter with 8 weeks of treatments i can be cured. Also the chance of her getting it from me is only 3%. Everything took a while to set in but once it did I began to look at this as one of many blessings about to happen. If i hadn't received this news who's to say i wouldn't have gone back out and used some more to stuff everything down not to feel. This taught me life is to damn short to be on drugs messing around instead of being the mother and wife my family deserves. It hasnt been easy living with this waiting to start treatment. I’m exhausted most of the time, I look sick (extremely yellow) to the point people ask me if im okay, which is embarrassing.. Oh and the liver pain. Some days it hurts so bad that i feel like removing the damn thing myself. All this reminds me the insanity of our addictions that we let it get so bad it costs us our health. Its been a huge wake up call and I can finally say full hearted that i will never touch a drug or drink again. This life changing experience taught me to never take for granted what we have and to be grateful always. I thank god for my Hep C. When i say that it sounds absolutely mad but if it wasnt for this i probably would have kept digging to another bottom. So if your reading this and you are struggling and need something to push you to quit digging or be grateful remember me. Look at all the bad in your life and try to find the good. Where theres bad, god is there around the corner testing you and teaching you a lesson. Try to open your eyes and perspective and look for what god wants you to see. You’d be surprised what you learn about yourself. Whether its good or bad there is something to be learned ❤️ thank you for reading. 😘😘