Cravings and Triggers

Addiction is a lifelong struggle whether were in the depths of it or in recovery. I have about 60 days of sobriety and i have cravings and triggers about once a week. Little things can set me off to where i make them into huge things. Ever hear the saying turning mole hills into mountains? Us addicts are extremely good at that one! Today I’m going to walk you through my recent trigger and craving and identify what was healthy thinking and what wasn't. What was healthy behaviors and whats something I can work on. In recovery its all about remaining teachable. Get cocky and that can lead into a relapse just by thinking you know it all. 

I am recently tapering off my oxycodone that I use for pain management for my hep C. I take them as prescribed and only when I’ve tried everything to manage the pain. I know all to well about trading one addiction for another and so I’m doing all i can to make damn sure that does not happen. Even though Im not abusing my prescription, i started to crave alcohol. Its crazy to think about honestly. Just one day a thought crossed my mind, “Oh some wine would be nice tonight.” I started thinking that almost every evening for a week. I would think that then my recovery brain would kick in. What the hell susie?? Youve never been a drinker let alone like wine! Its absolutely crazy what our addictive minds will do when we go without something or start changing what were doing. I dont know for sure if its because of my taper or if its just the stress of day to day life. What I’ve learned to do with this craving is acknowledge it for what it is and know thats my addiction talking. I have to much to lose by even one drink. My healthy behaviors during these triggers and cravings is the first thing I do is think about what all I have to lose by acting on it. I get randomly UAs, never know when one is going to hit. I could potentially lose all I’ve gained with my kids and family. Most importantly my sobriety and self respect and love I’ve gained. Im far to important then any drug or drink! Now whats the unhealthy behaviors can I work on. Well the thought process, I shouldn’t even be thinking about having a drink. I know I’m extremely early in my recovery but just that I had that thought of drinking cross my mind scares me. Its unhealthy to have that thought cause I know if i were to act on it how much I will lose. So when I have my cravings and triggers I need to be one step ahead of the game and reach out to my support system. Don’t ever rely on yourself to get through them. Reach out and call your sponsor, sober friend, or a loved one. They will walk you through it and remind you of how much you are loved and how proud they are of you. There are zoom meetings every day all day online. I do one at least every day. It helps me so much and leaves me feeling  at peace and that I’m never alone in any of this! I know I’m loved by my family and most importantly god. Everyday sober is a day worth living ❤️