Its been a while fellow readers. Sorry once again, just like the title of this blog life never stops. It really never does as much as you want it too. My life has truely been so busy and hectic lately. Both filled with positive and negatives. So let me catch you up on things. We found out recently we are having a baby girl, ive gotten the nursery almost done :) I've been working overtime every week while trying to find time to spend time with both families, my Fiance and his son, My sister, her kids, my daughter she adopted and over all just a break for life. My grandma passed away recently and its been hard to take in. For me, it was unexpected. I miss her so much and wish she could be here to meet her great grand daughter. But she's in a better place with her husband, my grandpa, whom shes been waiting a very long time to see again. With everything i've been dealing with lately I have been slacking on my recovery quite a bit. We've been going to meetings, yes. But i haven't been writing down my feelings and thoughts on different subjects which truely help me more than i probably know. One that really has been bothering me lately is the fact that we all can recover if we put our hearts into it and truely believe in ourselves but all around me i see people who have such great potential just dont use it. I see people i know from my past relapsing left and right. Im saddened when i see this vicious cycle happening everywhere. I truely see their souls being taken away from them slowly. It definitly changes my perspective on how i see things. Makes me realize what all my loved ones went through when i was deep in my addiction. The hopelessness feeling of wanting to help someone regain their soul and spirtual being they are lossing due to the devil of drug use. But knowing there is absolutly nothing you can do for this person because only they can have the want and drive to do it themselves. You can give them all the tools and resources to get and stay sober. But at the end of the day its up to them. Is the want and desire to change their way of living there? If so, how bad? Are you willing to go to any lengths to do it? I know for myself it took losing everything i have ever loved to get sober. I do have lots of regrets, wishing i could have stopped sooner. But i can't live in the past only in the present. That being said I'm very grateful for my sobriety, it has given me a fresh start. I have an amazing job that i truely love, a fiance whom is in recovery as well (hes my rock), a little girl on the way(due December 22nd) :), a great relationship with both my familys, and of course my heavenly father. I hope all of my readers in recovery or thoses still in the battle don't give up hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep going. Everything does and will always get better as long as your sober.
Until next time God Bless- Susie
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