Guilt into shame "What's eating you?"

Ever feel so guilty for something you've said or done that it just consumes you? Your daily activities are so difficult to do because you feel so distracted. Once the guilt begins to fester up inside overtime it turns into shame. What's the difference between the two you may ask. Well Guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse (bad) for some offense, crime, or wrong doing. Shame is a painful feeling or belief about yourself to be flawed. So guilt not only turns into shame if you let it build up inside you. Then shame affects your self esteem and worth.Vicious cycle right? 

For me my guilt was my daughter going in to states custody. I couldn't help but feel guilty about it. This is all my fault. I shoulda done this or shoulda done that. I let that guilt build up and up over time and it was a cookie to my addiction monsters. The more guilt I felt the more I wanted to bury it. Deep down and never feel it again. So I buried it for some time with drugs trying to make myself feel "better". What do you think happened now? I began to feel Shame. My self esteem and worth crashed. I truly believed since I lost my daughter that I'd never be anything worthy again. So why did I let myself feel all these negative emotions of guilt and shame and just run rapid with them? Why didn't I take that guilt and use it as a positive asset instead of it becoming my demons dessert. When were deep in our addictions were in deep dark places of our life's. We can't see the good in one thing. It's like we seek out the bad almost as more the reason to use drugs and justify our actions to do so. Messed up thinking right? Don't worry, we we're all very ill then. But the real most important question now is when were faced with these feelings in recovery how do we deal with them positively without letting it get us down and revert back to old ways? We share our feelings with someone we trust, our councilors, sponsor or just anyone you feel comfortable with. DO NOT hold these feelings in!! That could be a next ticket or excuse to a relapse! Don't let that happen. Share your feelings and find a positive way to release them. Try telling yourself 5 positive affirmations a day. That has always helped me feel less guilty about my past heartache. 

I am strong.

I am beautiful. 

I am smart.

I am funny. 

I AM A GOOD MOTHER :) 

Thanks for reading! <3 God bless!