By the grace of god

Take a moment and listen to this song. Really let the meaning sink in. For me this is my addiction recovery song and i'm sure many of you can relate. This song hit me hard the first time i heard it i bawled like a baby. The part where she sings " found i wasnt so tough, laying on a bathroom floor." That was me. My first overdose. I did one to many, that's all it took. Next thing you know I'm unconcious, huge goose egg on my head from falling into the shower door, and a needle still in my arm. Thats the harsh reality of addiction. I got so bad that my life could have ended on the bathroom floor just like that. But for some reason i didn't. An hour later i came back. Woke up in a tremendous amount of pain, not to meantion a huge absesnt in my arm. But i woke up and was alive. I wish i could say that was my rock bottom but it wasn't. I keep digging my hole and using for quiete some time. But that day something changed inside of me. I looked around and really looked at my life. I thought damn how did it get this bad? How could my life become my worst nightmare? When am i going to come out of hell? I seriously was sick of the lifestyle and all the choices i was making. I missed my little girl, my family, having a job, just everything. I missed being a normal human being. Not some monster whom i didnt reconize anymore. I was living on a fault line just like katy perry states in this song. I never knew when or what day was going to be my last. I contemplated suicide many times. But somehow through all the choas, god was still there. His grace got me through my hell. Now i put one foot in front of the other every saturday at my AA home group when i say the serenity prayer. God has plans for me and decided to keep me around. I'm very blessed and thankful for him. Each day i strive to live by him, his morals, and his values. Before doing anything or making a decision ask yourself, "What would jesus do?" If you have to question it some more it probably isnt the right choice. I know god has a plan for each and every one of us addicts or he wouldn't have put us on this path.We're strong people to have gone through what we have or are still going through. Just remember to put one foot in front of the other and decide to stay.
Thank you and god bless :) Susie