Your love is killing me.. Literally.

Enablers. We all have them throughout our lifes. Addict or not, adult or child, male or female. You have or still do have an enabler in your life. What is an enabler? Its a person who removes natural conquences to a persons' behavior. As a child, a parent may be enabling their child by not providing any punishmint to bad behavior. So the behavior continues. As an adult, your parents might enable you from growing up by letting you continue to live with them resposibility free. So the adult continues to act as if a teenager, responsibility free. There are many ways people can enable others. So why do people enable? Maybe the enabler is having a hard time letting go of their loved one? Maybe they feel that they are helping them? In addiction, its that very love from an enabler thats killing us. Us addicts love your support and that we can call you anytime were in need. Money? No problem. Need a ride? Heres' my car. The enabler may love the feeling of being needed or wanted. Or just the fact of having you around, knowing your alive and safe. They don't stop to think of the conquences of them helping you because they truely feel they are helping you. Just like us, in our addiction do we really stop to think? No. What we do stop to think about is more ways to manipulate others into getting what we want and how we want it, right now. That insant gradification keeps fueling our addictions.

                      My fiance, whom is on the road to recovery with me as well was deep in addiction at the same time as me. We used together in other words. He was my enabler. We didn't have the same drug of choice, mine was heiron, his was meth. I still used meth with him but preferred opiates. Now, whenever i went or started to go through my withdrawls, he'd get me some dope. He hated the way i was and how i acted on herion but he also hated seeing me in so much pain. He saw how the demon of herion literally was ripping my soul from my body each time more and more. But he couldn't stop helping me. If he tried, I'd beg and beg for hours on end til he got me my next fix. He loved me so much even if it meant loving me to death he'd do it. They say in AA and NA where I'm from alot that "your love is killing me". What they mean by that is the enabler is helping fuel our addictions, which is killing us, inside and out. What we really need is someone to show and give us tough love. When we're active in our addictions, holding the devils hand. We will do anything in our power to grasp hold of them enablers and drag them down with us. Now that we're in recovery, its not only us that truely needs to recover from our drug/alcohol addictions. Our family, friends, and or loved ones do too. They need to learn to be able to say no just as much as we need to. They need to learn to show tough love. So when you have weak moments, which let me tell you, for me happen quite often. They can stand firm and their ground and be strong for you. That my friends, is the kind of love that saves you.
Thank you and God bless <3 Susie